i ain't passed the bar but i know a little bit

Sat, 15 Aug 2009 21:09:38 GMT

you are a big fucking joke and i wish you would disappear.

and no, this isn't about a boy.

just a thought...

Tue, 17 Mar 2009 20:43:17 GMT

sometimes i think people take me for a fool.

Wed, 11 Mar 2009 19:15:30 GMT

i am mentally, emotionally and physically drained from my job. for everything i give to them, they just take and want more. there is never a "good job." i have a feeling my raise is going to be non-existent this year, as well, unless the market takes a turn for the better.

i just want out. every day i come home and i just want to cry. today, i did... and now i just feel worse for letting them get the best of me.

Tue, 24 Feb 2009 03:45:29 GMT

on wednesday, I am going to see jimmy eat world on their clarity x 10 tour. I can honestly say, I've never been more excited for anything... probably ever. it's weird. I've been listening to jimmy eat world probably since I was barely 13 but I've never seen a full set. "clarity' is one of those records that I can say brings me to tears every few listens. every time I listen to it, I feel like its the first time I'm hearing it and can remember how excited I got. it is truly one of my favorite records ever, along with "futures."

I have been smiling so wide lately.

Mon, 23 Feb 2009 04:52:23 GMT

i felt for sure last night
that once we said goodbye
no one else will know these lonely dreams
no one else will know that part of me
i'm still driving away
and i'm sorry every day
i won't always love these selfish things
i won't always live, not stopping

It was my turn to decide
I knew this was our time
No one else will have me like you do
No one else will have me, only you

you'll sit alone forever,
if you wait for the right time
what are you hoping for?
i'm here, i'm now, i'm ready...
holding on tight,
don't give away the end,
the one thing that stays mine.

amazing still, it seems
i'll be 23
i won't always love what i'll never have
i won't always live in my regrets.

Wed, 18 Feb 2009 22:02:29 GMT

<img src="http://a756.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/49/l_27abe1eb2852d3d982e1e8156c2bdb33.jpg">

i never "loved" any of bayside's releases, until shudder. i've always really liked the music they put out, but i either didn't completely identify with it or there were tracks on the album that i didn't like that much. however, with shudder, they master something. i have no idea what that "something" is, but this album is quickly becoming one of my favorite releases from the past year. i think the trick was the fact that they basically took my favorite parts of their self-titled and the walking wounded and did the perfect mixture of these albums. so, so good.

Mon, 16 Feb 2009 01:43:29 GMT

i wake up to i find it's another four aspirin morning, and i dive in.
i put on the same clothes i wore yesterday,
when did society decide that we have to change and wash a t-shirt after individual use?
if it's not dirty, i'm gonna fucking wear it.
i take the stairs to the car and there's fog on the windows.
i need caffeine in my blood stream. i take caffeine to the blood stream.
i grip the wheel and all at once, i realize:
my life is a boring pop song, and everyone's singing along.

Sun, 08 Feb 2009 17:10:41 GMT

"is that what you call a getaway?
tell me what you got away with.
cause i've seen more spine in jellyfish,
i've seen more guts in eleven year old kids.
have another drink and drive yourself home;
i hope there's ice on all the roads.
so you can think of me when you forget your seat belt...
and again when your head goes through the windshield.

is that what you call tact?
you're as subtle as the brick in the small of my back,
so let's end this call and end this conversation.
and is that what you call a getaway?
tell me what you got away with...
cause you left the frays from the ties you severed.
when you say best friends, means friends forever."

everyone's caught on to everything you do.

i love you brand new.

Sat, 07 Feb 2009 16:03:34 GMT

so, doing things for me is working out incredibly. sometimes everything needs to fall apart so you can put it back together after you've seen the flaws.

you assess and solve the problem. I did it for me and things are working out better than ever. well, for the most part.

I'm very happy. I hope the rest of this week is just as good as the "start."

p.s. sparks the rescue makes me very happy as does MERCY MERCEDES. real stoked about seeing them two days in a row!!

Wed, 04 Feb 2009 22:40:08 GMT

i am so fucking excited to see the scenic and sparks the rescue over the span of the next week. 5 days in a row and i am too stoked.

Fri, 30 Jan 2009 20:50:26 GMT

i love the new amsterdams. so freaking good.

Tue, 20 Jan 2009 03:07:24 GMT

this is most definitely going to be a year of change, that is for sure. my year of change has already started. there's something about my newfound cynicism that i kind of like; maybe it's because i'm seeing the big picture through a lens thats not cloudy anymore. unfortunately, i'm not sure i like all of the things i'm seeing. i think my life in all aspects needs a "deep cleansing treatment."

i can't wait to visit cate in providence. i think i really need to get away from this part of the coast for a hot minute and just enjoy life again without worrying about anything. march 13th can't get here soon enough. what i really would like to be doing march 12th - 22nd: going to ireland. someone make it happen, or pray that i hit the powerball.

"we are one" by westlife is playing right now and i refuse to change it. i will say that somethings will never ever change.

le sigh.

Mon, 12 Jan 2009 04:54:31 GMT

fml.

honestly

Sun, 04 Jan 2009 07:07:43 GMT

i miss the philadelphia scene... the way it was. seeing procession came opposite tonight made me realize how much i miss going to shows where boys prevailed and there was no drama, just unity. everyone at the show sharing two common interest: seeing the band and enjoying themselves. no "scene points." granted, i've grown since i've been involved, but i've been involved since i was 12 and almost ten years makes a difference. there was no fashion show tonight, no dirty looks... just love.

check yourself. are you really interested in the music, or are you interested because of what's popular right now? if you're involved and interested, don't act like you're "too cool." these acts feed off the crowd that's there to see them and if you're acting like you're too cool... just go away. you're a downer and not worth the sweat, blood and tears that these bands give every day to make it.

take it how you want it.

Fri, 02 Jan 2009 23:40:24 GMT

you did this to yourself. sorry.

day 2:

Sat, 20 Dec 2008 16:39:57 GMT

getting to see nicklights last night and broing down at the khyber. would have much rather been in poughkeepsie but shit happens and i had a good time anyway.

Fri, 19 Dec 2008 15:10:52 GMT

since i'm running late anyway:

i have a very strong feeling that i'm going to be bummed when this weekend is over. who knew...

oh and i got tagged with that 7 days thing and i'm definitely not tagging anyone else because i don't do that but i will start it. 7 things that make me happy,

day one: EAR. that's for you, vicky.

JUDGING EYES JUDGING YOU

Mon, 15 Dec 2008 05:18:36 GMT

last night was abso-fucking-lutely ridiculous. honestly. my friends are the best.

Tue, 11 Nov 2008 00:49:50 GMT

as if yesterday wasn't awesome enough, jimmy eat world is playing clarity in it's entirety february 25th at the troc. i am going to die if i don't get to witness this.

Mon, 27 Oct 2008 01:16:13 GMT

we all roll along.
this was the most ridiculous weekend of my life. or at least in the top 3.

Sun, 12 Oct 2008 06:09:01 GMT

erica said our luck is going to run out sometime soon... i hope not, because i could get used to things like this. we used our lifeline tonight @ croc rock but it was absolutely worth it. life is so good to me sometimes.

something i miss terribly:

Sun, 05 Oct 2008 02:24:25 GMT

so i was just wondering

Sat, 27 Sep 2008 15:24:57 GMT

do you even have a conscience? its weird that this is still aggravating me but i just don't understand why people put up with your dumb bullshit.

just keep swimming.

Thu, 25 Sep 2008 20:32:58 GMT

You gotta swim
Swim for your life
Swim for the music
That saves you
When you're not so sure you'll survive
You gotta swim
Swim when it hurts
The whole world is watching
You haven't come this far
To fall off the earth

The currents will pull you
Away from your love
Just keep your head above

I found a tidal wave
Begging to tear down the door
Memories like bullets
They fired at me from a gun
Cracking me open now
I swim to brighter days
In spite of the absence of sun
Choking on salt water
I'm not giving in
You gotta swim

You gotta swim
For nights that won’t end
Swim for your family
Your mothers your sisters
Your brothers your friends
You gotta swim
For wars without cause
Swim for these lost politicians
Who don't see their greed is a flaw

The currents will pull us
Away from our love
Just keep your head above

I found a tidal wave
Begging to tear down the door
Memories like bullets
They fired at me from a gun
Cracking me open now
I swim to brighter days
In spite of the absence of sun

Choking on salt water
I'm not giving in
I'm not giving in
Swim

You gotta swim
Swim in the dark
There's an ocean to drift in
Feel the tide shifting away from this war
Yeah you gotta swim
Don't let yourself sink
Just follow the horizon
I promise you it's not as far as you think

Currents will drag us away from our love
Just keep your head above
Just keep your head above
Swim
Just keep your head above
Swim
Just keep your head above
Swim

Mon, 15 Sep 2008 19:07:28 GMT

i have everything that is important in life right now, good friends and family... but what i really want is for someone to save me.

that is all.